17 Mar The meditation of “Who Am I”
The first book I ever bought on meditation was “How to meditate” by Lawrence LeShan. That was over twenty years ago and most of it went completely over my head. It is in this book that I first came across the “Who Am I” meditation. LeShan describes it as “an exceptionally rigorous and difficult meditation” which can “be an exceptionally rich and productive discipline” for some people.
I recommend only trying this meditation after you have got to the stage in your meditation where you can keep your mind relatively still and focused. If your mind is still at the stage where it constantly wanders around during meditation you will probably find the “Who Am I” meditation impossibly difficult.
This meditation belongs to the direct method. It cuts straight to the point of seeing through the illusion of “The Self”.
LeShan explains “In this meditation we ask the question “Who Am I?” and respond to each answer we find in a highly structured manner. If a name seems to be the answer, we (inwardly) reply, ‘no that is a name I have given myself. Who is the I who I gave that name to?’
If it is felt or perceived, as in ‘I am the person who feels tired,’ the reply is ‘No, that is a sensation I feel. Who is the I who has that sensation?’
If it is a memory, as in ‘I am the person who once…,’ the reply is ‘No, that is a memory I have. Who is the I that has that memory?’
If it is an image or picture of yourself, the reply is ‘No, that is an image I have of myself. Who is the I that has this image?’
If a monster or an angel seems to be the answer, the reply is, ‘No, that is an interpretation of memory and idea I have. Who is the I who has this interpretation?’
All answers that arise to the question are responded to in this way. After each response there is an active, dynamic search for the next answer. There is no rest in this meditation. It must be done with a kind of continued fierceness that constantly states the rejection of the previous answer and searches for the next answer in order to reject and go past it. The structure of this meditation must be carefully followed in exact detail. Each statement is made in the same way and in the present tense.
“In the Eastern sense, this is the direct search for the Atman, the real essence of the self that lies behind the many false selves with which we ordinarily identify ourselves.”
No Comments