Setting boundaries and structures for our ourselves and our children

We all know Yoga is liberating. It provides us with all the steps for obtaining freedom.This is the freedom to fully be yourself through mastering and strengthening your weaknesses to becoming more than what you think you can be in the moment.

Here I am talking about the personal struggles and challenges we face. These challenges and struggles are necessary to make you grow and mature.It is more important in children and teenagers than ever before. It is during childhood and teenage years that a vast amount of learning occurs of any nature.

Our character evolves and develops profoundly during adverse experiences. This is when we are tested at our deepest levels.In my opinion, sometimes these challenges may not be imposed adequately either by ourselves, our parents, family, community, society etc and so we have no given curriculum or measure of growth.

Here I refer to the Self as a process of development of a being that is more than identified by name, gender, ethnicity, religion and creed.Yoga defines this Self as a state of consciousness, awareness, Divinity and the light within. This is a reference to an ever-glowing light hence in Indian culture we light a “diva” to represent the light within us that we want to cultivate always.

In looking after my teenage niece in the last few weeks I have come to realise more so that boundaries must be imposed, understood, rebelled with, and compromised with before taking any action.Hence it is necessary for parents, in my opinion especially in this day and age, where lifestyle is so systematised and comfortable that we can overlook defining and acknowledging our own personal and family boundaries.

I urge parents, not only to work on setting parameters onto themselves as yoga discipline asks us to (through yamas and niyamas) but to be clear with these parameters and then to instruct on these to our children.Make these parameters clear and simple at the outset. For example can you as parents get up early to do your yoga practice, and have your practice done before going to work, and if so how would you best pass these habits onto your children? One of the best ways is through them observing and imitating you! Say to your children you will wake up at 6 am to do yoga and then do it!

We live in a society where values, beliefs, practices are no longer being transmitted via story-telling, mythological figures, family, and community union is no longer frequent and exposure to technology via hand held smart phones is overwhelming and can translate values and believes without any vetting.

Hence all parents please take an active role in setting parameters and get ready for a healthy amount of challenge as parents, as this is what parenting is about. This will allow your children to come across boundaries that they will have to reason with, adhere to, struggle to meet, analyse and compromise with.

Conflicts will arise both internally and externally with parents, siblings and family and battles may need to be fought but without this reassessment, and reflection, growth cannot be possible.  If we are looking for victory we must be ready to fight an internal and external battle and you know very well I am not referring to bloodshed here!