10 Apr The Smile (Yoga in Heston & Hounslow)
Posted at 20:16h
in Great Quotes, Heston, Philosophy, Spirituality, Yoga, Yoga, Meditation, spirituality, philosophy
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“There often seems to be a playfulness to wise people, as if either their equanimity has as its source this playfulness or the playfulness flows from the equanimity; and they can persuade other people who are in a state of agitation to calm down and manage a smile.”
Edward Hoagland
‘Ranjit, you looked tired.’
My first day back from paternity and I was struggling. The skin around my eyes heavily sagged, the whites of my eyes bled and the world was moving at a pace a little quicker than I was prepared to dance to. I was short. If you said something I could misconstrue for being vaguely rude, you were gonna get it, full force. ‘Yes, I’m shattered’, I told him. He dispersed all ill feeling with a knowing smile, and then without thinking I pulled my phone out to show him a picture. He smiled again, a half one, but once again, from the inside out.
He was this Middle Aged Asian fella. Numbers were his thing. He spoke about waves and trends and patterns as if he was describing a colourful and dramatic masterpiece or moment in history. The Mahabharat. But no, they were just numbers he reminded me. It’s easy. Half smile.
He had a project management background, I knew this much. He just knew what this project needed. Keep it simple, start with small changes, refine iteratively. He got that.
Over the next 30 minutes, we didn’t talk about work at all. I asked him what he did before all this and he obliged. It was fascinating. He (half) smiled his way through a monologue of Shawshank proportions. Every line hit a chord with me. Inspiring, life changing and entertaining all at the same time. But I will focus on the end of his dialogue. His story ended with how his little boy faced discrimination in his London school. I asked him how he dealt with it and the words poured out of him as if they were being sung….
‘Ranjit, from a very young age, they challenge you, they do the opposite to what you tell them. They won’t eat the foods you give them. They disrespect you. But Ranjit, one thing is important to remember. From the day that they are born, they watch you. You know how they say you become your parents, they are right. Knowing that they will become the person they watch every day from the day they are born, it is important you give them the right model to follow. Smile. Be happy. Be who you want them to be. Every second. It is your responsibility.’
Jab, jab, right, left hook, uppercut. Floored.
As he sung his song, I pictured who I wanted my baby girl to be. Then I began picturing who I needed to be. Strong, powerful, fair, calm, intelligent, happy, kind, daring, brave, resilient. But I didn’t wanna be a million different super-hero cartoon characters. I wanted one face, no matter the situation.
I didn’t push for a detailed explanation on how he actually dealt with his little boy’s situation. It felt silly to ask the question about such a trivial matter considering the plane upon which he had started and ended this conversation on. But, you know, something felt certain to me… As he knelt down to his boy, his boy in tears not sure about what he was doing wrong, why he was being challenged and belittled. He was excelling, sharing, showing such grace and humility for a child of his age, and trying his utmost to be the perfect student. It wasn’t enough… Whatever my friend had said to his little boy, he sang it to him. With that smile.
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