Giving and Talking

16 Dec Giving and Talking

Here is a story by Massud Farzan, an Iranian born poet, author and critic.

It involves Mulla Nasrudin who was a Seljuq satirical Sufi, believed to have lived and died during the 13th century in Ak?ehir, near Konya, a capital of the Seljuk Sultanate of Rum, in today’s Turkey. He appears in thousands of stories and is considered a populist philosopher and wise man, remembered for his funny stories and anecdotes.

One day Mulla Nasrudin saw a crowd gathered around a pond. A Moslem priest with a huge turban on his head had fallen in the water and was calling for help. People were leaning over and saying, “Give me your hand Reverend! Give me your hand!” But the priest didn’t pay attention to their offer to rescue him; he kept wrestling with the water and shouting for help.

Finally Mulla Nasrudin stepped forward: “Let me handle this.” He stretched out his hand toward the priest and shouted at him, “Take my hand!” The priest grabbed Mulla’s hand and was hoisted out of the pond. People, very surprised, asked Mulla for the secret of his strategy.

“It is very simple,” he replied. “I know this miser wouldn’t give anything to anyone. So instead of saying ‘Give me your hand,’ I said, ‘take my hand,’ and sure enough he took it.”

This story brilliantly illustrates how someone may reject our help even though we know that they want and need it desperately.

Mulla Nasrudin was the only one able to help the priest in the story because he knew him and understood him. He was then able to offer his help in a way that he knew the priest would accept. People may reject our help for many reasons, pride, guilt, fear of what we will ask in return, because they don’t want to burden us and countless other reasons.

When we understand the person and their situation then we are in position to offer the help they need in a way in which they can accept it. When we just decide to help because it makes us feel good and we don’t bother to understand the person and their circumstances, then we often do more harm then good.

Meditation allows us to see deeply into ourselves and this in turn helps us to see deeply into others. Both are crucial when helping ourselves and others, and in the whole process of giving and taking.